Things No One Ever Tells You About College
A bit too American to apply totally to my readership (hello readership!), but very funny and maybe also useful to someone.
By ticklemecheeky, from

Things No One Ever Tells You About College

1) You will have an excellent view of the volleyball court from your dorm window. In the summer, this will seem like the most wonderful thing on Earth.
2) There will be men. They will be hot. They will flirt. And that is all. Possibly this is because you haven't plucked your eyebrows in four weeks because you have taken a Women's Studies course and it is the closest form of not-shaving you are willing to partake in.
3) You are a freshman! There will be parties! And they will suck. Anyone who says otherwise is either a liar or completely trashed.
4) If you don't have your own refrigerator, you are screwed. People will take your food. They do not care if it is labeled. If it is in the communal fridge, it is fair game.
5) No one will wash the dishes in the kitchen. The kitchen will always smell funky.
6) It is possible to make friends on the first day. It is possible to start disliking those people within the first month.
7) Your friends back home will laugh at you when you complain about writing essays.
8) Professors are not like teachers: they actually want you to pass their classes!
9) People will choose to vacuum their rooms at five o'clock in the morning. Bring earmuffs.
10) Don't doubt it: you will be up the night before midterms. But it won't be because you're studying. It will be because those same guys you were admiring in the summer are now playing volleyball IN OCTOBER at TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
11) Your residence hall will have fire drills. They will happen at midnight. And when you are in the shower.
12) You and your roommate will become great friends! Well, at least on FaceBook.
13) Your first care package will seem like the best thing that has ever happened to you.
14) College is full of oppurtunities! And even though most people are paying an incredible amount to be in college, most don't actually take advantage of everything they're offered. Do not be one of those people.
15) Quiet hours do not exist. Any attempts to get more than two hours of sleep on a weeknight will be thoroughly rebuffed.
16) Do not sign up for a hundred and one different clubs. You will not like one hundred of them, and they will all have your email and will message you constantly.
17) The cafeteria food starts to look regurgitated after a while.
18) Bring a bike. You will not look like an idiot. People will envy you when you are actually able to get to your class that is on the other side of campus on time and without a twenty minute hike.
19) Learn your way around the town. You will want to get off the campus come Saturday and Sunday.
20) Do not get a messenger bag or you will have a broken back come October.
21) The price of college books will make your insides shrivel. Befriend people in your classes and photocopy the pages for the first few weeks before you're certain you're going to stick with the class. Buy a book off of Amazon, or go to a used book store. Do not buy from the college book store.
22) Never miss a lecture class. You will regret it when you realize you have no idea who Gregory the Great is because you weren't there the day the class took three pages of notes on him.
23) No one gets studying done on the first floor of the library. Or in their dorms, and definitely not in the gym. Find a small place to hide and stake it out.
24) Do not expect to print out a paper one hour before class. All of the library computers will be taken.
25) If you are a freshman with a car, you will have friends. If you are a freshman with a car and are a decent driver, you will have slaves.